I sincerely apologise for not making more of an effort to ensure that this blog stays up to date, but to my credit, there hasn’t been much to report on. But there were some instances.
Do you ever get the feeling where you have a fleeting moment of regret? For example, if you walked that bit faster you would have made that train instead of waiting thirty five minutes for the next one. Of if you only had ten cents and if only the eftpos terminal wasn’t broken you could afford to buy a cheeseburger to settle your ravaged hunger. Of if you came only a day earlier you could purchased that size 41 pair of black Yves Saint Laurent sneakers which only has too large and too small sizes left. You know the feeling I’m talking about don’t you, that superficial feeling of regret. Well, it happened to me the other day. If only I walked a bit slower I wouldn’t have had ran into someone, call him an old friend or acquaintance or now, just someone that you “know of.”
I ran, rather, he ran into me at the station, a good friend at high school who I haven’t seen or spoken since the start of the new millennium. To say it was awkward would be understatement because he sat next to me for the trip home after a day at work. It is difficult, for me anyway, to act friendly or to show any sign of friendship to someone you were close to but now just resides in your mobile’s phone book. The conversation mainly centered on what we were doing now and what people we knew were also doing. It saddened me to see that the potential he once had was now withered away, along with the grand dreams and hopes he had once boisterously announced to everyone, to now where he works in a subsistence job and in career he despises, stuck in a situation made by past mistakes and in pursuit of an easy dollar. It also saddened me to see that he really hasn’t embraced the things he had done such as uni and work where he could have developed new friendships and experiences. That only made me appreciate the choices that I had made to not choose the easy route of following my friends and living my own life, which I made by enrolling in a course and university where I was the only person I knew there. I knew I didn’t want to go through uni alone and where my only circle of friends gather in a garage every weekend to smoke cigarettes and pot and talk at each other between downing plastic cups of Jack, Jim and Johnny’s while eating microwaved food. I had experienced this once and I became an alcoholic asthmatic on the verge of a cholesterol induced stroke.
At uni, I met people, had new experiences and made extremely good friends and above all, succeed in my choices with no regret, things he, and I suspect, most of my old friends failed to do and achieve. This realization then *how should I say without making me sound like a twisted bastard* made me somewhat happy, but not at enjoying someone else’s failures, but rather at my own success. While I’m still no Chris Cuffe or Alan Moss or Peter Morgan or Paris Hilton, all preeminent people in their fields, I believe I am on my way there. Again, to say it was an awkward trip would be an understatement, it was quite uplifting and you need all these moments of self reinforcement you can get, especially in today’s trouble times were all the good size shoes are gone in a week.
On an even more uplifting note, I had one of the best weekends the other week. I ended up at Space furniture and for a few good hours, experienced how the rich and well tasted people live. Surrounded by fine pieces of furniture, one can only drool at the craftsmanship and hope that the acidity of the saliva does not leave an everlasting stain on the $15,000 couches, I started to dream again, of a place to call my own. To describe the prices as expensive would a serve misjudgment. They were like works of art and sculpture where the design and ergonomics justified the price, but more importantly, the comfort and contentment. So I leave you now, full of hope and expectation that Space furniture will be on sale soon.
I also ended up at a friends house after dinner one day were I promptly pursued their collection of dvds, magazines and photos were upon I stumbled across a few maps of the great city, New York. Seeing the size and breadth of Manhattan was amazing. Especially the locations of the landmarks such as Ground Zero, Madison Garden, Central Park, Gucci, New York University, Wall Street, Fifth Avenue, Empire State Times Square, the church where Samantha tried to pick up that priest with cans of food was breathtaking. A true metropolis I hope to visit and leave with shopping bags from all the great stores.
So that was my first half of August, quite uneventful but always full of surprise. And to quote a famous blond again, “Loves it.”
posted by tykang @ 8/26/2004 08:44:00 PM
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