No one can be that shallow! Can they?

on the way home from work via public transport

The train ride home after work each day is usually a lonely and solitary affair. Fighting my way in to acquire a prized seat and lately, fighting just as hard to get a seat next a window so I can rest my arms and gaze out at the window while the train slowly whisks me away. I have probably said this many times, but I like train rides - it gives you time to think about the important things without interruptions. It is a time where you can reflect, muse and learn many things and on this particular day, I learnt many things. The afternoon home started out as normal and I was descending the stairs to change trains, I saw a man push through the ticket barriers and was racing across the station. Instinctively, I stepped aside as I saw he was coming in my direction and as he passed me, a couple of seconds later, I heard a rather audible "oooohhhh" amongst the afternoon peak traffic. The cause: the man had impaled himself on the stair case hand rail. Lucky it was a set of ascending stair cases otherwise my train would of been delayed while they scrapped the man off the floor. So started this journey of learning for the day: Lesson 1a - Never run for public transport because you will embarrass yourself and it is not very classy, besides, it ruins the shoes. Lesson 1b - When you injure yourself, don't fall to the ground writhing in agony, take it like a man.

So as the drowsy humming of the air conditioning drifted me in and out of uneasy slumber, I looked out at a particular station to see where I was where upon I happened to noticed a rather good looking woman walking on the opposite platform. I then noticed, trailing behind her, a boy of around 14 years. Jackpot - a yummy mummy. Anyway, the boy was playing with a rather ridiculously large novelty tennis ball which he was bouncing on the ground a la basketball style. Instinctively, I thought wouldn't it be funny if the ball went flying away and right on cue, a mistimed bounce ensured the ball missed the boy's haphazard catches and land on the tracks below the platform. The boy stared in disbelief and started to call for his mother. Noticing the ball was missing, the mother started to become quite aggressive which was quite a turn on and the train driver, sensing some drama was happening, left the train idling. Anyway, this reduced the boy to tears but being the almost-man that he is, he started to yell something at his mother and begun to walk towards the edge of the platform. Unfortunately, the mother pulled him back, which only reinforces the assertion that the boy was going after his ball after being embarrassed in public and trying to retain any sort of dignity remaining. And most unfortunately, a few seconds later, a train came screeching pass obstructing my view of the hot mother. Lesson 2a - Always hold onto your prized possessions like everyone around you is trying to usurp them. Lesson 2b - Take abuse like a man.

As the train was nearing my stop, I started to think that they day's lessons will start to diminish. But I was wrong. At another particular station, a guy in this twenties stepped onto the train. He didn't look like he was mentally disabled, but he had this rather stupid and slow look about him who wouldn't look out of place in a dole queue or worst, someone who was trying to rob you. Anyway, he stuck his head out of the opened door to look intensely at something which only just confuses me because at this particular station, there were only people - not evening an indicator board. Anyway, the door started to close and he quickly pulled his head back in. But the guard must have changed his mind because the door started to open again where upon his head was out of the door and just as quickly, the guard changed his mind again and closed the door. Sure enough, his head was caught between the doors. I didn't know what to think - was it a case of stupidity or amusement. I think it was stupidity. I can't remember how he pulled his head back him because by this time, I had looked away feeling rather embarrassed that I ended up on a carriage with someone this stupid. Anyway, he started to walk down the aisle where upon I noticed he had a big black mark running vertically along his face, a temporary scar marking his elevation to idiot of the day. Lesson 3a - Never stick a body part out of any vehicle. Lesson 3b - Always carry moist toilettes so you can quickly wipe away any embarrassing mishaps (3b is extremely handy).

So as the aphorism goes, you only learn through the mistakes of others.

posted by tykang @ 1/13/2005 08:18:00 AM